Why don't aliens eat clowns.
Because they taste funny.
A 58-year-old prisoner in Sri Lanka who tried to hide a phone in his rectum -- along with a hands-free headset -- was caught after guards heard the phone ring. A guard told reporters, "Guards knew he had a phone at the wrong end," and an X-ray confirmed their suspicions. The phone is now available for purchase on ebay (it might need a little cleaning before use).